NO MORE DONKEYS

democrat condom get screwed
democrat condom get screwed

The NEW Democratic Symbol – no more donkey.

The Democratic Party today announced that it is changing its symbol from the Donkey to a Condom because it more accurately reflects the Party’s political stance. 

A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, and gives you a sense of security while you’re actually being screwed !

Damn, it just doesn’t get more on point than that!

Worst Foursome Ever!

WORST FOURSOME IN GOLF HISTORY:

1. STORMY DANIELS
2. O. J. SIMPSON
3. TED KENNEDY
4. BILL CLINTON

WHY, YOU ASK?

1. STORMY IS A HOOKER.
2. O. J. IS A SLICER.
3. TED CAN’T DRIVE OVER WATER, and
4. BILL CAN’T REMEMBER WHICH HOLE HE PLAYED LAST.

CORRUPT: New York Governor Cuomo Unilaterally Declares Parolees Can Vote

On Wednesday, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo decided to unilaterally allow parolees in New York State to vote in elections. The legislature had voted down such a measure just a few weeks ago. Speaking at Al Sharpton’s National Action Network conference in New York City, Cuomo stated, “In this state, when you’re released from prison and you’re on parole, you still don’t have the right to vote. Now how can that be? You did your time. You paid your debt. You’re released, but you still don’t have a right to vote.”

The executive order suddenly allows 36,000 additional voters, presumably all of whom will pull the lever for Cuomo. More than half of those voters live within New York City, The New York Post reports.

Now, this is rather convenient. What would we think of a foreign dictator who, in order to shore up his electoral prospects, simply declared that a class of people who had not been made eligible to vote by the legislature could vote — and oust those members of the legislature? We’d think that pretty corrupt. This sort of activity also lends credence to Republican complaints about Democratic views of illegal immigration — namely, many Republicans believe that Democrats are in favor of more illegal immigration because once in power, Democrats will simply legalize those immigrants for purposes of changing voting demographics.

It’s also rather obvious that Cuomo is making this move in order to placate his left wing base, which has been increasingly enchanted with former “Sex and the City” star Cynthia Nixon. Cuomo doesn’t face a serious threat from Nixon, but he can’t afford to lose his base to an enthusiastic outsider, the way Hillary Clinton did to Bernie Sanders.

In any case, this is foolish policy. The idea of parole is that we do not fully trust you to participate in civic life — if we did, you wouldn’t be on parole. The natural effect of removing the penalties of lawbreaking while on parole would be to increase jail sentences in order to keep those we don’t trust from voting. The whole point of parole is that it’s a trial period for re-entering society on the fullest level.

But when there’s political hay to be made, don’t look to politicians for decent or moral policy.

Nice going, California Legislature!

california legislature fail stupid laws

The California Legislative Year Closed on Friday. All the Representatives went home exhausted and the damage was done. So what did they accomplish during this high pressure year in Sacramento?

This is an update today on the progressive Democrats’ continued destruction of California. The ones who would not endorse Dianne Feinstein, because she is not sufficiently Socialist extreme.

By the way, we are already deemed the worst state for businesses. Here are some of the highlights of this session:

* Passed Cap-n-Trade Tax which will increase gas $0.63 to $0.93 cents a gallon change and the taxes that go with it. So do the math projection….. (0.12 + 0.63 = 075/gallon + current $3.10/gallon = $3.85/gallon)

* Proposed increase on a new tax every residence will pay for tap water!

* A $3.46B parks bond to pay for parks in “disadvantaged communities”. The debt service alone will be over $200 million a year. The good news is some money goes to help fix the Salton Sea which should have always been a State responsibility!

* Law to release any lifer (murder, rape , child molestation, etc.) who is 60 years old and has already spent 25 years in prison! Charles Manson would have qualified if he just waited a few months before dying; and the Melendez brothers that murdered their parents could be released in about 12 years? Victims?… What victims?

* A new $ 50 charge on all residents living in a mobile home parks to address “living condition enforcement” in those parks? What the hell does that mean? As if having to live in a mobile home park isn’t bad enough? Regressive tax on the poor?

* We picked an official dinosaur for the State of California. Really???

* Requires Tesla to either unionize with the United Auto Workers Union, or forfeit State incentives to buy their electric cars! Maybe political blackmail doesn’t count as breaking any law. Unions are loving it. “Watch out solar companies… They may be coming after you next!!!”

* Reduce from a felony to a misdemeanor the purposeful intent to transmit the AIDS virus to a unknowing partner

* Give preferential treatment to prisoners convicted of serious crimes that are less than 25 years old because their brains are not mature enough to understand right from wrong. Whaaat?

* A bill to require our true sex be omitted from drivers licenses? Whaaat?

* Free legal services for illegal immigrants… Of course!

* Establish safe “injection zones” run by government to oversee people injecting heroin!

Yep, it all passed! You may consider forwarding this so that ALL Californians can be proud of their elected officials.

A special letter!

Our 14-year-old dog Abbey died last month. The day after she passed away my 4-year-old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so, and she dictated the words.

We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.

Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, ‘To Meredith’ in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, ‘When a Pet Dies.’ Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:

Dear Meredith, 
Abbey arrived safely in heaven. Having the picture was a big help and I recognized her right away. Abbey isn’t sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don’t need our bodies in heaven, I don’t have any pockets to keep your picture in so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by.

Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you. I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much. By the way, I’m easy to find. I am wherever there is love. 

Love, God

You won’t believe this!!!

illegal immigration

The official number of illegal aliens in the state of California is nearly 3 million. We can estimate the number to be more than double this amount in reality.

Over half of all drivers license issued in California were given to individuals who are here illegally and the state automatically registers those with a driver’s license to vote.

In 2015, California Governor Jerry Brown (D-CA) signed a bill giving full voting rights to illegal aliens. This gives them the right to vote in all elections from a local level to national elections, including that of choosing who will become President.

The biggest problem with this is it is against Federal law for non-citizens to vote in any national election. This in itself negates the votes made by illegal aliens in California and any other state which allows them to vote.

Victoria’s Secret???

A husband walks into ‘Victoria’s Secret’ to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife.

He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price – the more sheer, the higher the price.

Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home.

He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.

Upstairs the wife thinks (she’s no dummy), “I have an idea. It’s so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won’t put it on but I’ll do the modelling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself.”

She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says, “Good grief, you’d think for $500, they’d at least iron it!”

He never heard the shot.

Funeral on Thursday at Noon.

Donations in lieu of Flowers to the National Association for Retarded Husbands (NARH)

Baltimore is finally FREE AT LAST!

baltimore free at last mayor removes confederate statues

Baltimore Is Now ‘FREE AT LAST’ as Mayor Removes Confederate Statues! Praise needs to be given to the Mayor of Baltimore.

For years the Black community has been under assault by 4 Confederate Monuments. These monuments were relentless in their destruction of the Black family as over 70% of Black children were born out of wedlock.

So terrified by the presence of these monuments, over 60% of Black men in the city could not work a job and found comfort in fathering numerous children with numerous women that they could not feed.

Just knowing that the monuments were there made Black school children have the lowest test scores in the Nation and many turned to drugs to relieve the sting of the monuments presence.

Worst of all, the mere presence of the monuments caused death. Not being able to handle the hate and violence that the monuments represented, the Black males in the city took to killing each other by the thousands.

Just in the last 2 years they have murdered 500 of their own.

Praise be to God and the Wisdom of the Mayor. It is a new dawn for Black Baltimoreans! The shackles have been removed and all that can be said is, Free at last, free at last, Lord God Almighty, we’re free at last”

It’s a Big Club and You Ain’t in it.

ABC CBS

Conspiracy? No, it’s right out there in the open. All you have to do is look at it.

IF YOU HAD A HUNCH THE NEWS SYSTEM WAS SOMEWHAT RIGGED AND YOU COULDN’T PUT YOUR FINGER ON IT, THIS MIGHT HELP YOU SOLVE THE PUZZLE.

ABC News executive producer Ian Cameron is married to Susan Rice, National Security Adviser.

CBS President David Rhodes is the brother of Ben Rhodes, Obama’s Deputy National Security Adviser for Strategic Communications.

ABC News correspondent Claire Shipman is married to former Whitehouse Press Secretary Jay Carney.

ABC News and Univision reporter Matthew Jaffe is married to Katie Hogan, Obama’s Deputy Press Secretary.

ABC President Ben Sherwood is the brother of Obama’s Special Adviser Elizabeth Sherwood.

CNN President Virginia Moseley is married to former Hillary Clinton’s Deputy Secretary Tom Nides.

And now you know why it is no surprise the media usually goes very easy on Obama’s many errors.

Ya think there might be a little bias in the news?

Ya Think?

Judge Kavanaugh…VERY short…

Judge Kavanaugh obama

Judge Kavanaugh comes clean about his high school and college years: 

“I spent the last two years of high school in a daze, locking away the questions that life seemed insistent on imposing. I kept playing basketball, attended classes sparingly, drank beer heavily, and tried drugs enthusiastically. Discovered that it didn’t make any difference if you smoked reefer in the white class mates sparkling new van, or in the dorm room with some brother you’d met down at the gym, or on the beach with a couple of Hawaiian kids who had dropped out of school and now spent most of their time looking for an excuse to brawl.”  

Just kidding folks. Those are NOT Judge Kavanaugh’s words. The words are from former president Obama’s book describing his high school and college days. Just wondering…do you think there might be a double standard?

The MAGIC Green Hat…

US border patrol hat

Visiting in South Western USA, I needed to go to the emergency room. Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my MAGIC GREEN HAT.

When I went into the E.R., I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left. I guess they decided that they weren’t that sick after all. It cut at least 3 hours off my waiting time.

Here’s the hat:

It also works at Dept. of Motor Vehicles. It saved me 5 hours.

At the Laundromat, three minutes after entering, I had my choice of any machine, most still running.

It might also cut your wait time at the grocery store.

But…don’t try it at McDonald’s…
The whole crew ran out the back door and I never did get my order!

Bernie Sanders and the Dems.

In all her years in congress Elizabeth Warren introduced 110 bills.  2 passed.

Cory Booker introduced 120 bills.  0 passed. 

Kamala Harris introduced 54 bills. 0 passed. 

Bernie Sanders is truly special. He never held a job until he was finally elected mayor at age 53.He lived off of welfare and four different women, had a child out-of-wedlock with one and the three marriages did not work out. 

In all his years in the Senate, he introduced 364 bills. 3 passed. Two of those were to name post offices. 

If you want to know what kind of leader Bernie is, Go to Wikipedia, it’s a long report.

The following is condensed:  Bernie Sanders’ father was a high school drop-out, who tormented his family with rants about their financial problems.He blamed society and economic inequality for his plight, though as a white male in a middle class neighborhood, he was hardly among the down trodden.  

This was Bernie’s inspiration to take up the cause of economic justice, though he would spend half of his life as an able-bodied college graduate living off of unemployment checks, and the women in his life, between odd jobs.By his own admission, Bernie was not a great student, starting at Brooklyn College and transferring to Univ. of Chicago, but his enrollment kept him protected from the draft.  

He joined socialist organizations and dabbled in far-left communist politics, gaining national notoriety by petitioning the school to let students have sex in the dormitories. This was before birth control and abortion were legal, when there were still very serious repercussions for women if the condom broke, but that didn’t stop him from crusading against those silly rules that were an obstacle to his own satisfaction.

He participated in the 1963 March on Washington, a few demonstrations, and was arrested once, but his activism for civil rights ended when he became obsessed with socialism.  NOT “democratic socialism”, but oppressive far-left Marxism.  

Bernie married his college sweetheart, Deborah Shilling, and spent his small inheritance on a summer home in Vermont on 85 acres. The shack had a dirt floor and no electricity, maintaining his proletariat credibility, but not impressing his new bride. He refused to get a steady job, so his wife didn’t stick around long, divorced after 18 months.  

The Vietnam war was escalating, and when the next draft was announced, Bernie applied for a conscientious objector deferment.His deferment was denied, so he dodged the draft by having a kid out of wedlock in 1969 with his new girlfriend, Susan Mott, even though he STILL wasn’t working, and had no way to support the child.  By the time his draft number came up, he was too old to be drafted anyway.

He continued to subsist on odd carpentry jobs and unemployment checks, and occasionally selling $15 articles, including the one about how women fantasize about gang rape  He still refused to get a steady job to support his child. His girlfriend left him.

In 1988 he married Jane Driscoll, and took a cold-war era honeymoon in communist USSR. His new wife supported Bernie financially through his many attempts to win a public office, and shared his radical leftist political views. They visited the pro-Soviet Sandinista Government in Nicaragua known for their human rights violations, support for anti-American terrorists, and the imprisonment and exile of opponents. 

Bernie blindly overlooked the carnage to stand with fellow socialists. They traveled to Cuba in hopes of meeting Bernie’s hero Fidel Castro, but access to him was denied.  Bernie Sanders managed not to hold a full-time job his entire life or vote in a single election, until he finally ran for Mayor of Burlington at the age of 40.After several failed elections, he finally won the office of Mayor of Burlington, VT, and eventually a Senate seat, which he has managed to keep off and on.

For all of his years representing Vermont, Bernie Sanders passed a total of three bills, and two of them were for naming post offices. He’s a draft-dodging deadbeat dad, a globe-trotting communist dilettante, and a petulant detractor of hard-working honorable Democrats.

His one skill is yelling about how unfair the world is, and how everything SHOULD be. But he has no plans for how to make it happen, and no idea what goes on in the rest of the world or how to deal with problems overseas.His excuse for not having a foreign policy or national security plank on his platform: “I’ve only been campaigning for three months.”  

His socialist friends are bitter about what they see as a betrayal of their values by Bernie’s pursuit of the Democratic nomination.His former wife and girlfriend run when they see reporters and will not speak to the press. Bernie’s past, including a brief stint living in a kibbutz in Israel is cloaked in secrecy. (It worked for B Hussein Obama.)

Former employees and coworkers describe him as hostile and belligerent. All of the Democrats in Vermont’s government endorsed Hillary Clinton. The people who know Bernie best cannot stand him.  His supporters cannot explain how he is qualified to be president. As for his detractors, we can only watch in horror as this Nader 2.0 works an appalling act of sabotage on the Democratic Party.

Bernie Sanders was born in September 1941. 

Vacations for free

Trump Just Ended Obama’s Vacation Scam.

He was going to stick us for 2.1 billion or so.

Before Obama left office, he arranged with the State Department for a

series of “official visits” to foreign countries, spanning the next 20

years.

Using discretionary funds from the Office of Presidential Visits and Vacations,

Obama was able to weasel what would have been another $2.1 billion in

free vacations for him and up to 24 members of his family plus staff

and a dog sitter until the year 2036.

He would have, that is, had he not lost his office to Donald Trump.

Trump, who is always looking for ways to save money, was having the

office used for vacations repainted when he was presented with a

ledger that contained all of the Obama travel plans and expenses.

The ledger was found by one of the workers Trump hired from outside

the typical White House staff to make alterations.

Trump immediately canceled the plans and recalled all Secret Service

agents scheduled to protect the Obamas anywhere outside of the United

States. The Obamas are also facing another new challenge at the hands of Trump.

They’re going to have to repay the government for all of those

vacations that weren’t official state business.

The bill, after some small allowances, for days that were possibly

work related, is for $214 million.

Of the 692 days the Obamas spent on vacation, almost none included any

work at all. They ate, slept and golfed and Michelle was given

shopping allowances from the Office of Discretionary Gifting Funds,

which is supposed to be used to buy presents for visiting dignitaries.

It’s just one scandal after another with these people.

Share this. Keep draining the swamp, President Trump.

Most Americans do appreciate it!

CDC Hid Survey For 2 Decades That Found Americans Used Guns Defensively 2.4 Million Times Per Year

CDC gun violence study hidden for 2 decades

Not that the Center for Disease Control should be studying guns and gun use in the first place, but this goes to show how political the CDC has become. A bombshell was uncovered decades after the CDC performed a study which found that Americans used guns to defend themselves 2.4 million times per year.

Florida State University criminologist Gary Kleck performed a similar study in 1995 to the one conducted by the CDC. However, he was unaware that the CDC actually backed up his findings because the study was hidden for more than two decades.

Kleck indicated that Americans used their guns defensively approximately 2.2 million times per year.

In a follow-up report, Kleck comments on the CDC study that occurred just one year after his own, but was kept from the public eye.

Kleck wrote:

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has often been criticized by gun owner organizations like the National Rifle Association as being “antigun” and for awarding research grants on firearms and violence only to researchers with strong anti-gun or pro-gun control publication records (see remarks of the NRA chief lobbyist – Cox 2017). Belief in this anti-gun bias was so strong among pro-gun forces that the NRA got Congress to slash CDC’s budget by an amount exactly equal to the budget for its program that studied firearms violence, and to insert a rider in the funding bill that read: “Provided further that none of the funds made available for injury prevention and control at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention may be used to advocate or promote gun control.” Of particular relevance to the present topic, CDC has helped finance surveys on defensive gun use (DGU) by David Hemenway and others that the authors interpreted as indicating that DGU was rare (Hemenway and Azrael, 2000, p. 272; Hemenway Azrael and Miller, 2000, p. 267).

He went on to state that the CDC has conducted several surveys of the American population regarding DGU, but did not report the findings, post them on their website or even acknowledge they took place.

Free Home Security! Provided by the government!

free home security joke

I took down my Rebel flag (which you can’t buy on EBAY any more) and peeled the NRA sticker off my front window. I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the candy-ass Neighborhood Watch. I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the front yard. Then I purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN Buy on EBAY) and ran it up the flag pole.

Now the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching my house 24/7. I’ve NEVER felt safer and I’m saving $69.95 a month that ADT used to charge me.

Plus, I bought burkas for me to wear when I shop or travel. Everyone moves out of the way, and security can’t pat me down. If they say I’m a male wearing a burka, I just say I’m feeling like a woman today!

Trump tax returns

During a recent Trump rally, a heckler from the audience hollered, “Hey Trump, where are you hiding your tax returns?

The Donald politely responded, “I’ve found a very secure place that I’m certain they won’t be found.”

The insistent heckler, then shouted, “And just where is that, dummy”?

The Donald smiled and said, “They are underneath Obama’s college records, his passport application, his immigration status as a student, his funding sources to pay for college, his college records, and his Selective Service registration.

“What’s your next question?”

L. Todd Wood: Black lives DO matter!!

L. Todd Wood do black lives matter

L. Todd Wood, a graduate of the U.S. Air Force Academy, flew special operations helicopters supporting SEAL Team 6, Delta Force and others. After leaving the military, he pursued his other passion, finance, spending 18 years on Wall Street trading emerging market debt, and later, writing. The first of his many thrillers is “Currency.” Todd is a contributor to Fox Business, Newsmax TV, Moscow Times, the New York Post, the National Review, Zero Hedge and others.. For more information about L. Todd Wood, visit LToddWood.com.

By L. Todd Wood – – Tuesday, September 26, 2017

ANALYSIS/OPINION:
I know of no white person alive today in the United States who has ever legally owned a black slave, or any slave for that matter. Almost 700,000 mostly white men died 160 years ago to end slavery. Jim Crow ended generations ago. Yet black America, for the most part, is still locked in inner-city gang violence and economic hardship. Why?

Is it because America is racist? Is it because of some overhanging white supremacy? Is it because of the Illuminati?

No, unfortunately, it is because of black culture and the adoption of Democratic Party government dependency.

We have just had eight years of the first black president. Black athletes, and entertainers, routinely earn multi-million dollar incomes. I can easily name several black billionaires without even trying too hard. A large percentage of black America is very successful. But, it is not enough. Too many black youth are being left behind.

And it is no one but black America’s fault.

No one can solve this problem but black America. No one can throw enough money at it. We’ve tried that. Black America needs to look in the mirror and stop blaming others, especially white people.

I am obviously white and conservative, and I served in the military, which, during my time, was as color blind as you could be. I can also honestly say I don’t give a damn what color your skin is, neither do any of my friends. I do care about your actions.

Blacks are around 15 percent of the population. Depending on what study you look at, they commit around 40 percent to 50 percent of violent crime in America. Of course, there is going to be a problem with police. And, of course, there are some bad policemen. However, those bad apples do not kill black people statistically anymore than they kill white people. Even Harvard said that recently. If you were a cop, and you had to work in a neighborhood infested with crime and murder, wouldn’t you act differently than in a neighborhood where there was little crime? The most effective thing black America could do to improve its relationship with police is to significantly reduce violent crime where they live. Yes, that means change the culture of where you live and your community.

I for one am tired of being blamed. I am tired of dealing with people who only want something from others. I don’t oppress anyone. I don’t hold anyone down. I’m tired of getting on the D.C. metro and seeing white people being harassed by roaming gangs of black youth with their pants around their knees. Yes, you want a white person uncomfortable? That makes me uncomfortable. It’s our nation’s capital and it’s embarrassing.

Blacks have nothing but opportunity in America. Try finding the same opportunity anywhere else in the world. If you are born in America you’ve won life’s economic lottery. Take advantage of it.

The problem is this generation has been taught an agenda of cultural Marxism by our education system. They’ve been taught to be a victim, and it’s still going on. All you have to do is watch the young black, female student at Yale screaming at the college president to understand that. Blacks in America don’t even know how good they have it .

Don’t kneel when my anthem is played. Too many people died for that flag. You are free to protest but not then.. I am free to not watch, or pay to watch you play if you do that. The NFL should make it a rule that you stand for the national anthem. There is no free speech to disobey a private employer on private property.. This would solve the problem immediately.

The NFL has deeply offended most of America. They will pay an economic and reputational price, as they should.

We have a real cultural problem in this country, the result of the Leftist multicultural agenda. Multi-ethnicity is perfect and should be encouraged. Having more than one American culture is destroying the country But then again, that is what the Left wants.

Do BlackLives Matter

It is your job to determine if this is a racist rant or just a review of factual data…

WHAT IF ALL THE BLACKS SUDDENLY LEFT AMERICA, WHICH IS 13.3% OF THE TOTAL U.S..POPULATION:
Amount of people in poverty would drop – 34%,
The prison population would go down by -37%,
Welfare recipients would go down by – – – 42%,
Gang members would go down by – – – – – 53%
Chlamydia cases would go down – – – – – – 54%,
Homelessness would go down – – – – – – – -57%
Syphilis would go down – – – – – – – – – – – – 58%.
AIDS & HIV would go down by – – – – – – – -65%,
Gonorrhea would go down – – – – – – – – – – -69%,
Average ACT scores would go UP – – – – – 5.5 points.
Average IQ would go UP – – – – – – – – – – – -7.4 points, putting us 3rd in the world tied with Japan,
Average SAT scores would go UP almost – – – – -100 points.

The average income for Americans would go UP over $20,000 a year,
BUT DEMOCRATS WOULD LOSE 76% OF THEIR VOTING BASE!!!
And, many criminal defense attorneys would have to find another line of work!
Yes, Black lives DO matter!

On Becoming Illegal. You’ll love this!

(Actual letter from an Oregon resident sent to his Senator)

The Honorable Wyden
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Wyden,

As a native Oregonian and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for only three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I’m excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as “in-state” tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver’s license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me, given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance

Your Loyal Constituent, (hoping to reach “illegal alien” status rather than just a bonafide citizen of the USA )
Dale B. Rilyeu
Lebanon, Or
Get your Forms (NOW)!!
Call your Internal Revenue Service at 1-800-289-1040

(Please pass this on to your friends so they can save on this great offer.)

Unbelievable sign near Dearborn, MI

Are there “no-go” zones in the USA? Is this one of them? Dearborn, Michigan is the first city to become almost completely Muslim. Yours may be next because they are here and more come every day. Amazing that any city would allow something like this to be displayed.

STILL THINK THEY’RE KIDDING ? And people are concerned about the Confederate Flag?