A joke for our friends in Chicago!

chicago bears joke

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing missing was a good quarterback  He scouted and scouted but couldn’t find a quarterback who could give the Bears a shot at a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching the news he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank.  In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm.  He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away. KABOOM!

He threw another hand grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney. KA-BLOOEY! Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph. BULLS-EYE!

“I’ve got to get this guy!” the coach said to himself.  “He has the perfect arm!” 

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football.  And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.

The young man is hailed as a great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

“Mom,” he says into the phone, “I just won the Super Bowl!”

“I don’t want to talk to you”, the old woman says.  “You are not my son!”

“I don’t think you understand, Mom,” the young man pleads. “I’ve won the greatest sporting event in the world.  I’m here among thousands of my adoring fans.”

“No!  Let me tell you!”  his mother retorts.  “At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us.  The neighborhood is a pile of rubble.  Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn’t get raped!”

The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,……….”I’ll never forgive you for making us move to Chicago!”

The young man is hailed as a great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

“Mom,” he says into the phone, “I just won the Super Bowl!”

“I don’t want to talk to you”, the old woman says.  “You are not my son!”

“I don’t think you understand, Mom,” the young man pleads. “I’ve won the greatest sporting event in the world.  I’m here among thousands of my adoring fans.”

“No!  Let me tell you!”  his mother retorts.  “At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us.  The neighborhood is a pile of rubble.  Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn’t get raped!”

The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,……….”I’ll never forgive you for making us move to Chicago!”

GREAT AGAIN by Donald Trump

trump great again book crippled america

In this book (previously published as Crippled America), we’re going to look at the state of the world right now. It’s a terrible mess, and that’s putting it mildly. There has never been a more dangerous time. The politicians and special interests in Washington, DC are directly responsible for the mess we are in. So why should we continue listening to them?

It’s time to bring America back to its rightful owners—the American people.

This book is Donald Trump’s blueprint for how to Make America Great Again. It’s not hard. We just need someone with the courage to say what needs to be said.

This hilarious fanny pack will embarrass you, your family, and basically everyone in the known universe. Get one now!

Dadbod funny belly fanny pack funny gift

Dad bag “dadbod” belly waist pack. Or fanny pack. Who cares what you call it! Look totally hot everywhere you go.

Dadbod funny belly fanny pack funny gift
Dadbod funny belly fanny pack funny gift

Scare the hell out of your family with the Prank Pregnancy Test – It ALWAYS turns positive!

funny prank pregnancy test always turns positive

The Right Time prank pregnancy test was designed to give positive results under any circumstance and is a great gag for you to play on your husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, parents or anyone else that you feel like joking.

The tests could be used as a joke at a bridal shower, bachelorette party, or any other shenanigans you may have in mind. Using urine on the test is not necessary because it was manufactured to turn positive using any liquid that is not too acidic.

funny prank pregnancy test always turns positive