Lemon Picker

Looking for a good job in Florida???  

Lemon Picker, Sally Mullihan of Coral Springs, Florida decided to take one of the jobs that most Americans are not willing to do. Sally applied for a job in a Florida lemon grove and seemed to be far too qualified for the job. She had a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan and had worked as a social worker and a school teacher

The foreman frowned and said, “I have to ask you, have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?”  

“Well, as a matter of fact, I have,” she said, “I’ve been divorced three times, owned two Chryslers, I voted twice for Obama, and once for Hillary.”

She started work this morning!  

God forgives all, even horrible puns!

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Wounded

Obama Care

A woman from Los Angeles, who was a tree hugging, liberal Democrat and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland near Colville, WA . There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree.

As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.

In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a Democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her.

She sat and waited three hours before the doctor re-appeared.The angry woman demanded, “What took you so long?”

He smiled and then told her, “Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a ‘recreational area’ so close to a Waste Treatment Facility.

And I am sorry, but due to Obama-Care they turned you down.”

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T-shirts like this only exist in the Land of the FREE

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There’s no such thing as being TOO safe — outdoor security cameras are a must-have

blink outdoor security camera system

The Blink XT Outdoor Home Security Camera System can show you if the noise you heard outside is an intruder or just a raccoon looking for a snack.

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BATTERY POWERED SECURITY SYSTEM: Wireless home camera with 2-year battery life, powered by 2 Lithium AA 1.5v non-rechargeable Lithium batteries (included), data is sent from IP cameras over Wi-Fi

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The two things that should start every American’s day

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