This hilarious fanny pack will embarrass you, your family, and basically everyone in the known universe. Get one now!

Dadbod funny belly fanny pack funny gift

Dad bag “dadbod” belly waist pack. Or fanny pack. Who cares what you call it! Look totally hot everywhere you go.

Dadbod funny belly fanny pack funny gift
Dadbod funny belly fanny pack funny gift

Historians agree that Abe Lincoln had a wicked sense of humor, and this T-shirt proves it!

funny abraham lincoln tshirt funny history tshirt gifts for teachers

Solid colors: 100% Cotton; Heather Grey: 90% Cotton, 10% Polyester; All Other Heathers: 50% Cotton, 50% Polyester

Imported

Machine wash cold with like colors, dry low heat

Great gift for history teachers, social studies teachers, american history teachers, civics teachers, history buffs and Abraham Lincoln fans

Official Funny History Teacher Tee

funny abraham lincoln tshirt funny history tshirt gifts for teachers

Who needs a Magic 8 Ball when you’ve got President Predicto!

Donald Trump magic 8 ball president predicto

LET DONALD TRUMP TELL YOU YOUR FUTURE – Will your future be great again? Just ask President Predicto!

ASK PRESIDENT PREDICTO A YES or NO QUESTION & HE’LL SPEAK THE ANSWER – There are 25 possible affirmative, negative, or non-committal style answers and the mysterious ball comes alive with just a simple wave of your hand.

PLAYS SPOOKY MUSIC, LIGHTS UP & TALKS!! – President Predicto is no ordinary magic ball. As you wait to hear his eerie answer, the magical LED lights dance to the spooky music & haunting background sound effects.

PRESIDENT PREDICTO’S PREDICTIONS WILL GIVE YOU GOOSE BUMPS – As a fortune teller, only President Predicto can foresee what your future will hold, so get ready for some spine-tingling surprises as he tells you & your Trumpy Bear the answers to your most important questions.

Donald Trump magic 8 ball president predicto

Great Valentine’s Day Joke!

marines isis girl

From the mouth of a child Valentine:

A smart little Jewish girl!

“Since Valentine’s Day is for a Christian saint and we’re Jewish,” she asks, “Will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?   

Thelma’s father thinks a bit then says “No, I don’t think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?”  

“The whole Isis group,” she says.   “

Why them,” her father asks in shock?  

“Well,” she says, “I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give them a valentine, they might start to think that maybe  we’re not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and then they sent valentines to them, they’d love everyone a lot. And then they’d start going all over the place telling everyone how much they loved them and how they didn’t hate anyone anymore.”    

Her father’s heart swells and he looks at his daughter with new found pride. “Thelma, that’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever heard. ”    

“I know,” Thelma says, “and once that gets them out in the open, the Marines could blow the shit out of them.

Bernie Sanders and the Dems.

In all her years in congress Elizabeth Warren introduced 110 bills.  2 passed.

Cory Booker introduced 120 bills.  0 passed. 

Kamala Harris introduced 54 bills. 0 passed. 

Bernie Sanders is truly special. He never held a job until he was finally elected mayor at age 53.He lived off of welfare and four different women, had a child out-of-wedlock with one and the three marriages did not work out. 

In all his years in the Senate, he introduced 364 bills. 3 passed. Two of those were to name post offices. 

If you want to know what kind of leader Bernie is, Go to Wikipedia, it’s a long report.

The following is condensed:  Bernie Sanders’ father was a high school drop-out, who tormented his family with rants about their financial problems.He blamed society and economic inequality for his plight, though as a white male in a middle class neighborhood, he was hardly among the down trodden.  

This was Bernie’s inspiration to take up the cause of economic justice, though he would spend half of his life as an able-bodied college graduate living off of unemployment checks, and the women in his life, between odd jobs.By his own admission, Bernie was not a great student, starting at Brooklyn College and transferring to Univ. of Chicago, but his enrollment kept him protected from the draft.  

He joined socialist organizations and dabbled in far-left communist politics, gaining national notoriety by petitioning the school to let students have sex in the dormitories. This was before birth control and abortion were legal, when there were still very serious repercussions for women if the condom broke, but that didn’t stop him from crusading against those silly rules that were an obstacle to his own satisfaction.

He participated in the 1963 March on Washington, a few demonstrations, and was arrested once, but his activism for civil rights ended when he became obsessed with socialism.  NOT “democratic socialism”, but oppressive far-left Marxism.  

Bernie married his college sweetheart, Deborah Shilling, and spent his small inheritance on a summer home in Vermont on 85 acres. The shack had a dirt floor and no electricity, maintaining his proletariat credibility, but not impressing his new bride. He refused to get a steady job, so his wife didn’t stick around long, divorced after 18 months.  

The Vietnam war was escalating, and when the next draft was announced, Bernie applied for a conscientious objector deferment.His deferment was denied, so he dodged the draft by having a kid out of wedlock in 1969 with his new girlfriend, Susan Mott, even though he STILL wasn’t working, and had no way to support the child.  By the time his draft number came up, he was too old to be drafted anyway.

He continued to subsist on odd carpentry jobs and unemployment checks, and occasionally selling $15 articles, including the one about how women fantasize about gang rape  He still refused to get a steady job to support his child. His girlfriend left him.

In 1988 he married Jane Driscoll, and took a cold-war era honeymoon in communist USSR. His new wife supported Bernie financially through his many attempts to win a public office, and shared his radical leftist political views. They visited the pro-Soviet Sandinista Government in Nicaragua known for their human rights violations, support for anti-American terrorists, and the imprisonment and exile of opponents. 

Bernie blindly overlooked the carnage to stand with fellow socialists. They traveled to Cuba in hopes of meeting Bernie’s hero Fidel Castro, but access to him was denied.  Bernie Sanders managed not to hold a full-time job his entire life or vote in a single election, until he finally ran for Mayor of Burlington at the age of 40.After several failed elections, he finally won the office of Mayor of Burlington, VT, and eventually a Senate seat, which he has managed to keep off and on.

For all of his years representing Vermont, Bernie Sanders passed a total of three bills, and two of them were for naming post offices. He’s a draft-dodging deadbeat dad, a globe-trotting communist dilettante, and a petulant detractor of hard-working honorable Democrats.

His one skill is yelling about how unfair the world is, and how everything SHOULD be. But he has no plans for how to make it happen, and no idea what goes on in the rest of the world or how to deal with problems overseas.His excuse for not having a foreign policy or national security plank on his platform: “I’ve only been campaigning for three months.”  

His socialist friends are bitter about what they see as a betrayal of their values by Bernie’s pursuit of the Democratic nomination.His former wife and girlfriend run when they see reporters and will not speak to the press. Bernie’s past, including a brief stint living in a kibbutz in Israel is cloaked in secrecy. (It worked for B Hussein Obama.)

Former employees and coworkers describe him as hostile and belligerent. All of the Democrats in Vermont’s government endorsed Hillary Clinton. The people who know Bernie best cannot stand him.  His supporters cannot explain how he is qualified to be president. As for his detractors, we can only watch in horror as this Nader 2.0 works an appalling act of sabotage on the Democratic Party.

Bernie Sanders was born in September 1941. 

On Becoming Illegal. You’ll love this!

(Actual letter from an Oregon resident sent to his Senator)

The Honorable Wyden
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Wyden,

As a native Oregonian and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for only three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I’m excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as “in-state” tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver’s license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me, given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance

Your Loyal Constituent, (hoping to reach “illegal alien” status rather than just a bonafide citizen of the USA )
Dale B. Rilyeu
Lebanon, Or
Get your Forms (NOW)!!
Call your Internal Revenue Service at 1-800-289-1040

(Please pass this on to your friends so they can save on this great offer.)

Know your SCOTUS history! This is an amazingly cool gift

mug shows supreme court winners and losers losers disappear with hot coffee heat changing coffee mug

See the winners and the losers in over 30 famous US Supreme Court cases. Add a hot beverage and the losers disappear, revealing who won these landmark cases.

12 oz. ceramic mug. Comes in a colorful box.

This the kind of gift that even liberals could appreciate!

mug shows supreme court winners and losers losers disappear with hot coffee heat changing coffee mug