Great Valentine’s Day Joke!

marines isis girl

From the mouth of a child Valentine:

A smart little Jewish girl!

“Since Valentine’s Day is for a Christian saint and we’re Jewish,” she asks, “Will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?   

Thelma’s father thinks a bit then says “No, I don’t think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?”  

“The whole Isis group,” she says.   “

Why them,” her father asks in shock?  

“Well,” she says, “I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give them a valentine, they might start to think that maybe  we’re not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and then they sent valentines to them, they’d love everyone a lot. And then they’d start going all over the place telling everyone how much they loved them and how they didn’t hate anyone anymore.”    

Her father’s heart swells and he looks at his daughter with new found pride. “Thelma, that’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever heard. ”    

“I know,” Thelma says, “and once that gets them out in the open, the Marines could blow the shit out of them.

Just imagine how bad it is in democrat states?

voter fraud

The more evidence that surfaces that proves voter fraud is rampant, the more Democrats double down to insist it’s a rare occurrence, cry about voter suppression and scramble to dispute the findings.

The results of a nearly year-long investigation into voter fraud in Texas has blown the lid off the weak defense, revealing that 95,000 non-citizens were currently registered to vote in the state with 58,000 of them having voted in one or more election.

And this is just ONE state — a Republican-controlled state, to boot. But now that massive voter fraud has been found, what comes next?

Know what real STRESS is???

hitchhiker stress

You pick up a hitchhiker…A beautiful girl. Suddenly, she faints inside your truck and you take her to the hospital. Now that’s stressful.

But at the hospital, they say she is pregnant and congratulates you that you’re going to be the father. You say that you are not the father, but the girl says you are. This is getting very stressful!

You request a DNA test to prove that you are not the father.

After the tests are completed, the doctor says the test shows you’re infertile, and probably have been since birth. You’re extremely stressed but relieved.

On your way back home, you think about your FIVE kids at home.

NOW THAT’S STRESS!!!

It’s all in the way you tell it!

Mansion

The Last Will and Testament of Jonathan Smith

Jonathon Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter, and two sons are with him. He asks for two witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready, he begins to speak:

“My son, Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses. My daughter Sybil, you take the apartments over the east end. My son, Jamie, I want you to take the offices over the City Center. Sarah, my dear wife, please take all of the residential buildings on the banks of the river.”

The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings, and as Jonathan slops away, the nurse says, “Mrs. Smith, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property.”

The wife replies, “Property? This jerk had various paper routes – that’s what he had.”

Mansion

VIDEO: Facts about our economy that even a liberal can understand

trump economy good obama economy bad

Trump economic advisor drops a moab on Obama’s economic policies during WH presser. President’s Council of Economic Advisors, Kevin Hassett, stepped to the podium dropping news that the left-wing press won’t like to report. Kevin Hassett explains: “Many Obama policies were very NEGATIVE for growth…To say Obama destroyed the economy, well, um, that’s not what the CEA Chair should be doing”